Blank.

just keep swimming.. just keep swimming...

Coming to a close.

In three days from now, I will be reminiscing over this past semester with a caramel macchiato in my hand with a new friend. (didn't mean for that to rhyme)

It is hard to believe that I have made it through this semester, and I know it is only by the grace of Christ and his Holy Spirit that I have done so.

I look forward to the new things to come... WYAM, missions, and N.O.I are burning with passion upon my heart. I cannot even fathom what God is going to do through this season to come.

As for now, I will continue to thank God for the people He has placed in my life, and the new perspective given about current situations. The Christmas season is here, and the most important lesson to be reminded of is the importance of family and friendship. Without these two, life would not be as eventful. I look forward to the month of break I have, and the transitional point God is making in mine and my family's life.

He is good always and His love endures forever.

Blessings and peace be upon you,

-Ava

Warning! The Past is Crossing!

My days are full of sun and shine
then we cross paths and the shine turns into dim shadows

Ones I loathe, Ones I long to resist
This face, this heart I was so fond of no longer exists...
The past and present collide and it is the memories of you that are full of mysterious shadows and raging fists.

The Beauty of Our Past.

The great thing about our God is that He can redeem a rugged past. He makes all things beautiful and uses them for His glory.

Praise be to the wonderful God Almighty.

=]

Christmas break is only a week away and it cannot come soon enough! :)

Hmm

Remember that when we ask God for great things, we are asking God for great hardship to follow. For God must take us through great hardship, so that He may refine us. It is only and only then that we are able to handle the great things we asked for.

Rapid Change.

A couple of weeks ago I found out that my father is moving to Colorado. When I went home to visit, I saw the for sale sign posted in the front yard, and my heart sank. The house I have lived in since I was born will soon be in the hands of the next mysterious family that decides to buy it. It is overwhelming, sad, and seriously taking place too soon.

Daddy moves on December 28th , which means I have to find someone to babysit my cat Boo Boo until I can get an apartment this summer. I love my cat. I have had him since he was a baby, so he is seriously like my baby. Every time I come home he jumps up to give me a hug and a kiss. I can not bear the fact of giving him away. I am praying that God will make a way for him. I know that sounds nonsensical, but I am firm believer that animals play an integral part in human life.

I know everything will work out, but right now it seems like everything in my life is like a tornado. I am ready for it to end and for things to fall into place as they should be.

"Whatever You're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace."

Abba Daddy,

Please help me to remain strong even though I don't fully comprehend why things are going the way they are. Help me to trust in You and lean not on my own understanding, but to look to You and know that You are bigger than the tornados that stir my life. I know You are mighty, and I know You are faithful. Your love is steadfast and eternal. You will finish the good work You have started in me, and You will give me the grace to complete Your will.

I love You, I love You, I love You. Stay close to my heart, and let me feel Your presence every second of my life, dear Father.

In Your precious Son's holy name,

Amen

Thoughts, Thoughts, Thoughts....

There are countless religions, but only one resurrection.

There are many roads, but only the narrow one leads us to life.

Many will come in His name, and He will say I never knew You.

The heart is wayward and it is God who searches it daily.

Grace is immeasurable, but justice is essential.

Love is universal, but which definition are we to live by?

Here is my heart.

Here is my heart. Here is my heart. You can have it all. You can have it all.

- Kim Walker

Though the troubles that surround me seem to be never-ending , I still long to draw closer to God.

Instead of blaming Him or crying out with the why questions, I just want to press even more into Him.

Here is my heart. Take it. Refine it. Build it. Strengthen it. You can have it all. Let there be nothing that holds me back from the completeness of You in my life.

You are awesome. You are mighty. You hold the universe. You hold us tiny specs and I thank You for that, O God.

He prays that my faith would not fail.

So many times we humans think we can plan out our lives and it will work out accordingly.

I, however, cannot and will not live this way. I don't want to plan something when I know there a Mighty God who knows better than I do. I want to surrender to Him, I want to live radically to glorify His name, and His name alone. I don't want to be the spotlight for me, but for Him and for Him only.

May this flesh fade and allow Love to shine through!

It's not about me. It's not about me. It's all about you Daddy.

Turkey Day.

Thanksgiving can not get here soon enough.

A break is much needed at this point.

I love how... :)

I love how God knows our inner most thoughts. I love how He answers prayers and how we get to testify,for His glory, when those prayers are answered. I love how great and mighty God is. I love Him, I love Him, I love Him; and I am thankful that He has my heart.

Inspiration and Revelation. :]

If there is something in our lives that we desire more than the living God, we must immediately burn this idol and toss its ashes into the sea. We must then repent, and place the Father into the core of hearts and live in His truths daily. He must be our one and only; Our all in all. The all consuming fire that burns upon our hearts.

Write Your name upon my heart, Father. Ignite it. Transform it. Break it.

I want to be used by You and You alone. No one else or thing will do.

My younger years...

Pre-school. Coloring. Nap-time.... my heart longs to go back to these days, where all the worries seemed so small, and everything was absolutely beautiful.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I live as though God doesn't know what He's doing in my life.

I try to figure out the where's and why's, when truly I know in my heart that God has it all planned out. I know He has His hand over my life, I know He is leading and guiding me, but sometimes I try to put a foot in. This foot does me no good, for I only screw things up.

It is time for me to stop trying to lead and instead follow God whole-heartedly without asking so many questions.

I know He will answer all of these things in His good time, but for now I must be and allow Him to lead.

He is good all the time, and His will is perfect.

Daddy, help me to follow the perfect will You have for my life.

I give it all to You, holding nothing back. Take it all, and use it for Your glory alone.

Amen.

YAY! =]

NOI Open Mic-Night, New friends, beautiful mountains in the morning!!

It is going to be fabulous weekend!!!

Thank you, Lord!!!

Yes.

Sometimes I forget that I am flourished by the Living Fountain, and it is then He comes to sweetly replenish my thirsty heart.

Thank you Daddy for giving me life.

I want my life to be a beautiful story.

Though I didn't necessarily enjoy this statement, it seems to be the anthem of my life right now.

We need conflict in order to make a beautiful story. - Donald Miller

May the conflicts that seem to plague this life be morphed into something extravagant.

Keep on running.

Just keep on running....

Revelation.

I can not dwell on what the human response will be, for I can only be led by the Spirit and obey what he asks of me.

Sundays.

God. Family. Coffee. Productive Conversations.

These are things I love the most.

It has a been a good day.

I am blessed.

Ah.

God is good all the time.

Early Morning Thoughts.

It's 1:33 am.

Thoughts cloud my mind as I try to figure out HOW I am going to get everything settled for next Friday.

I need T-shirts. I need musicians, artists, poets, singers. I need to somehow get a slideshow finished with the massive schedule I try to juggle in the midst of all this figuring.

I am not sleepy. I have had way too much coffee for one day. My heart is longing once again. It is my favourite time of the year, and I have yet to make a trip to see the beautiful, colorful leaves that flow from the trees.

I really need to build a cave. A cave that has a battery operated coffee maker, a prayer room, and a bed. Maybe I can find one when I go to the mountains, if I ever make it there.

I am frustrated. God has revealed to me all these things, and yet I am having to learn patience while I wait for them. No fun. I know He will bring them to pass in His good timing, but sometimes I don't like His timing even though I know all too well it is for the best.

Either way, God is good. He is my first love, and sometimes we become frustrated with those we love most.

Anywhoo...

Since I am having a mountain and teaching moment, this Bible verse seems legit.

“And many nations shall come, and say, Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, and to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for the law shall go forth of Zion, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.”

- Micah 4:2

Abba Daddy,

It is late and I once again plague my mind with thoughts that should not even be considered. Forgive me. I need You. Teach me Your ways and take me to the mountain that leads me straight to You. I want to climb, I want to overcome, I want to be near you Father. I am weak and You are strong. Your heart is where mine belongs. Open up hearts, Daddy. Hearts that have been an enclosed tomb for way too long. They need You. Allow Your Holy Spirit to pierce those hearts, O God. Continue to pierce mine so it may flow for Your glory and Yours alone. Rid my heart of any pride, and humble me. I want to be like Your Son. Teach me Your ways, O Lord. Teach me Your ways.

I love You Daddy.

All of these things I ask in Your Son's most precious name.

Autumn

The muti-colored leaves falling from the trees,

This warms my heart.

The love that blooms and consumes,

This warms my heart,

The Father that orchestrates these blessesd days,

This warms my heart,

Though I may not know this love, I imagine it will be grand,

This warms my heart.

Knowing that God holds everything in the palm of His hands,

This warms my heart.

Ahh... FALL!! Autumn.. FALL. FALL is the time to FALL in love.

I love this season. I love this weather. I love Love. But most of all I love the Giver of all these things.

PTL

Peace be with you.

Ava

It's More Than....

I am flesh. I am weak, temporal, flesh that needs a Saviour. I need a Redeemer. I need Rock.

God through Jesus Christ is all these things for me.

I am certain that this life is more than morals. It is more than being a good person. We are not good people. Nothing at the root of our hearts is good. It is all evil. It is only through Jesus Christ that we do good things. This I am more than certain of. This is a foundational truth. It is whether the door of each heart chooses to close or open to this solid truth.

Now that I am off my soap box ( sort of), I would like to say that life being more than morals is a battle of the mind. The Enemy knows our weakness, and he therefore thrives off of it. He loves to takes it and twist it and make it the most difficult thing possible for us to overcome. Now that I have recognized this truth, I am able to overcome it. I can overcome all things through Jesus Christ.

I battle this flesh daily. I battle to overcome weaknesses and draw closer to the Father. My heart longs to be close to the Father and to please Him for all of my days. I have heard it said that "belief is a beautiful armor," but truly what is more of an armour, the fact that when we die and just die, or we fight for something greater. To put faith in something that is not seen takes a lot more effort, it is something that takes us out of our comfort zone and allows us to go into depth with the Almighty. This is faith. It is a gift. It is what the Enemy wants to steal.

Life is a battlefield. Life is full of choices and it is up to each individual what choice is going to be made.

I want to battle and overcome this flesh. I want to battle all the adversaries and principalities that are lined up against me, for I know that Christ will help me to overcome.

It's more than this world, it is God the Almighty waiting for us to be warriors for Him.

Take a stand.

O God of this Universe.

God.

I love talking about Him, speaking to Him, praying to Him, worshipping Him, living this temporal life for an eternity that I will one day reside in.

Time.

Waiting.

It seems so difficult, but the God I serve has a polar opposite time table than I do. My months of waiting for my beloved is a millionth times a millionth of a second. (This is attempting to compare to God's time table, of course.) How can one fathom this Greatness. How can we be so selfish to act on what we think is good for us, when we only screw up the time we could have used for God's glory? I don't understand humanity. I don't understand me.

I want to bask in the presence of God. I want to be purified by the Consuming Fire, for such greatness is God and God alone.

Love.

Let Your love bloom beautifully in my heart. Let it bloom until the fragrance of its fruit is overflowing, O God of this universe.

I love you, Lord. I will wait patiently for you, O my Beloved. Let this patience grow with endurance and let is produce Your divine characteristics, O Beloved. I adore You. I adore You.

Beach it.

So I love how God turns His awesome word into life.

I love how everything in this life can be symbolic to God.

I love how the sea washes away our troubles, but really it is God who does it.

I love tanning.

Dancing is wonderful for the spirit.

Laughing is magnificent for the soul.

God is so good in every way possible.

His glory reigns. He is present everywhere.

I know He is soo much bigger than I am and will do greater things in this city and all around the world.

Praise be to God, forever and ever.

Blessings,

Ava

Isaiah 26:3-4

Though I struggle daily when this thing we call life, I find myself dwelling in the heart of this verse.

Lord, You are the only who gives peace. And you give peace to those whose eyes are CONTINUALLY set on You.

Lord, mine eyes look to the heavens , beyond the hills, beyond the sky, but to the heavens where mine eyes will stay. You are the Maker. You are Almighty. You are going to do great things.

And no illness, no macbook dropping, no overwhelming emotion will distract these eyes from the prize, which is You and You alone.

I love you Abba Daddy. You are my Rock.

The Lord is My Rock.

The Lord is my Rock. I won't be afraid. I won't be afraid.

When all things seem to result in chaos, I will rest in the peace of God.

When life seems so uncertain, I will stand on His promises.

When I can't go much longer, He will come to my rescue.

My God is with me always. He is with me always.

Praise be to the Lord forever and ever.

Amen.

God is Faithful.

God is faithful. I am amazed by Him. He is my first and only true love. None can compare. I will praise His name til' my last breath. He is worthy and glorious. I love Him. I delight in Him and in Him alone. Holy is the Lord God Almighty.

Glory be to the Father forever and ever.

Peace and blessings,

Ava

Walking in the Call of God.

I am here. I am walking the halls and through the campus of Wingate University. God is good and for all of those who delight in Him He shall show favor. For those who doubt, He is peace. For those who are hurting, He is comfort. For those who trust in Him, He shall show you and direct every step that you take.

I have experienced all these things in one day and I am so in awe. God has confirmed and confirmed my call here through men and women with a heart for Him. It is simply amazing and I can not ask for more. I can not fathom to you the favor that has taken place.

I look forward to working with these young women and men for the Kingdom. May God shower blessings upon every individual who walks upon this campus, but most importantly may the Love of God transform every heart.

To God be the glory forever and ever.

Amen.

Peace be with you,

Ava

The Brilliance of His Anointing.

So today was a typical day of routine.

Wake up, shower, get dressed, go to work.

I do this Monday-Friday 8am to 5pm and it never changes.

I am not one who fond of routine and I refuse to conform to such a thing when I have my own career. Spontaneous is much more exciting, fun, and of course unpredictable. :]

Five O clock was quickly approaching as I noticed this huge storm come in. I mean seriously it was huge; so huge that is knocked our electricity out. Well this unexpected storm altered the plans for my father and I. We were planning to leave for the beach right after work but that more than quickly changed.

As the storm lightened and I was given permission to leave, I made my way home. I approached the door when I noticed than the electricity was out. At first, I was like bummer, BUT then I noticed the peace and quiet of it so I decided to meditate and seek after the Lord's voice. Yes meditating... which means prayer for some of us :) Well, as I meditated the Holy Spirit quickened my heart towards the camp meeting that was going on. It was Youth Night and this amazing 16 year old , young man of God was speaking.

I decided to go and little did I know what unexpected brilliance would occur.

Let me back track for a minute.

God has called me to go to a school and this is a school that I have been particularly struggling with for well.... mainly one reason. I didn't want to go and although God has showed himself in the situation more than just a few times I insisted on more confirmation.

I have been overwhelmed with fear, doubt, "what-ifs", "buts", "whys", and a lot more of the common questionings that all of humanity presents to the Almighty.

Tonight was the night.

After an amazing sermon the young man gave an alter call. Yes , the beloved alter call which is even more brilliant and unpredictable when the Holy Spirit is loudly pounding at your heart to make your way down there. That person was most indeed me.

I went down and cried out unto the Lord with all that was within me. I have been praying for months and months now for God to give me some kind of dream , vision, WHAT-EVER to ever so clearly confirm my calling to this school.

Well He definitely gave me a dream alright.... through another young woman.

She came up to me and spoke one word and I automatically knew in my heart what she was there for. She spoke firmly, "God gave me a dream and I believe this dream is for you." (I was already sobbing like a little child)

"There was this girl and this girl was called to a university. She knew no one and she was very much afraid. When classes began one of her teachers gave her an evil assignment, to kill her opponent, but then this man stood up and he covered her , standing up in front of every battle she was to face. And the bullets flew he was shielding her, shielding her through the halls and through everywhere she went."

"God is your shield and you must trust that He is going to fight your battles for you." Do not be afraid."

That was all I needed and I finally had the exact confirmation that I needed. The brilliance of the anointing on His beloved. That He chooses you and I to me followers, messengers, lights, and so much more for Him.

Lord I thank you and I love You with all that I am! :]

Tragedies.

7-12-2009.

This morning started out as a wonderful morning. Sarah and I woke up to get ready for church. We do indeed love the church we go to so we always make sure we leave on time. So we got ready, left, picked up her boyfriend, got our coffees, then made it to church.

It was an excellent service today as always, but today's message was what I really needed to hear. The message was entitled "Your most valuable possession" which is our faith. I was very attentive throughout the service and God was really doing things in my heart. (More on this later)

Well after the service, we stopped at Jersey Mikes for subs then headed to Kyle's house. It was a lovely ride home until I witnessed something tragic. There was horrible jeep wreck and a baby laying on the side of the road. My heart sunk into my stomach... all I could think was.. I need to go there, I need to go there and I felt really led to be there.

Sarah got back the house , I got my car, and rushed back to the scene. That baby on the side of the road was covered in blood and her precious little lips were turning purple. I rushed over to her, laid my hands on her head, and started to pray in the Spirit. When I gained some composure I asked if they had called the ambulance... they were so frantic I couldn't get an answer so I did it myself. I told them to hurry but I know they were doing their best to get to the scence as soon as they could. An old man was doing CPR on the child but I really couldn't tell if it was helping.

So as I looked around I saw another baby girl... she was only 6 and she was still in the jeep. She was still alive but she was blowing bubbles of blood. I went over to talk to her and make sure she stayed awake. I prayed in the Spirit for her.. she couldn't move, her blonde curly cues were covered in blood, and her beautiful turquoise eyes were staring at me in desperation. She had four teeth missing from the hit, and it was all I could do to keep myself from breaking down. She cried out to me, " Please tell me Shalie isn't dead, Please tell me she isn't dead! " I told her everything was going to be okay and if she would allow me to pray with her, she said okay. So as I prayed she calmed down a bit and I know God was there in the midst.

I stayed with her until the paramedics arrived. As they were going for the jeep first I firmly suggested they get the little four year old first, and they did. They got the 6 year old and they rushed them to Duke.

I have never witnessed or been apart of anything like this in my life, but God taught me a lesson through it all. We must act in faith and when the Spirit is tugging at our hearts we must take action and not question it. Free will and stupidity of fallen men and women results in the death of innocent lives. We must never blame the Almighty for events that occur. I have learned this the hard way. And it takes spiritual maturity to realize we must never question God and that God , no matter what happens, He is always good.

I pray in faith for that four year olds recovery. Whether she lives or dies that is in the hands of the Father, but if she happens not to return to this world, I know that she is in the arms of the Father at this very moment.

KEEP THE FAITH IN THE MIDST OF EVERY SITUATION. It IS your most prized and valuable possession.

Blessings.

-Ava

7 things he'll never tell you.....

So it has been a week or so now since I have had my macbook. I am still adjusting to it but I must say it is the ABSOLUTE BOMB DIGGITY. :) (so 90's but that's okay)

Anywhoo.... So as I was skyping with a dear friend face to face on video chat when we came upon a common topic that girls most always talk about... MEN.

So as we were conversing , SJ told me about a book she was reading and started to explain some of it. I was so intrigued by its thoughts I went out and bought it last night. I am already half-way finished. It is just that good.

I have really been enlightened on how simplistic men are and how we young women must respect this aspect of them. Our over analyzing really doesn't help us with the whole guy situation because our thoughts are miles ahead on a billion different topics while they are still gathering and processing that one topic three miles behind.

This book has definitely provided new perspective on how I view men. I am certain that my future relationship will save me a lot of pain that I have suffered in the past from previous loves. (Thank goodness! :] )

I am excited to see what other enlightening truths this book has for me. :)

Blessings.

-Ava

Restoration.

I have been attending Manna Church for awhile now and it rocks!! I love the atmosphere, the community, and most of all how God rocks that place. On Wednesdays there is thing called the V2 Community; it is for young adults and each individual can choose from a wide variety of the small groups provided.

The first time I went I will admit was a bit uncomfortable, but tonight's group that a chose was AWESOME. I absolutely loved it. The vulnerability, the truths shared from open hearts, and the support system within.

Since I have returned from Jerusalem the world around me has been a constant battlefield. All of my friends are scattered throughout the US, and the ones I have here are always busy. It has been difficult to find a community to where I could share my deepest struggles and actually rely on someone to intercede for me.

Thankfully and praise be to the Lord Almighty I have found that community. The people were so welcoming and made me feel right at home. There was no stained glassed masquerade and the people wore their hearts on their sleeves. No front, no mask, just real people searching for healing and restoration of abusive pasts, hurts, failures, broken relationships, strained ones, confused ones, etcetera. God is good. He is amazing. And I know I can only move forward in ministry when I have dealt with all my skeletons, moved on, and ultimately let go of everything that has held me back from my Saviour.

I have learned that it is important to cry. God tells us it is better to weep than to laugh.... I believe it is healing for the soul. In the complete vulnerability of tears is where God can take our hearts and mold them to what He wants them to look like. Hearts that are completely His. Redeemed. Restored. Sharp. Beating to the drum of the Father's own magnificent heart. I am falling in Love again, in Love with the One who is Love. The Almighty Creator.

Why must we be so double-minded when the goodness of God is everywhere? Our hearts so quickly wander and stray yet the Father just waits. He waits for us with open arms. How gracious that Love is. I long to be with Him. Everything else fades when all of my being is longing for the Father.

I was talking to a beloved friend the other day and she told me to find the goodness of God in creation. It sounds really new age but it is most certainly a solemn truth. Do we stop and take in the sunset or ever notice how God paints a new one for us every evening. Do we go outside and smell the goodness of the earth (don't choose to be around a dumpster)? Or notice how unique the smallest insect is with its odd shapes and brilliant colors. The goodness of God is everywhere. We make a choice whether or not we enjoy it.

I want to be consistent in this Love. This overwhelming and passionate Love. Love that never fails. It never changes. Love only its Creator can give. How awesome a God we serve. He is good. He wants the best for us. He doesn't want us to hurt. And He doesn't want us to hurt His body, the church. The brothers and sisters must unite and live in harmony for it is only then Christ can come for His bride. I want Him to come. I long for my Saviour. To be at His feet for all eternity. To have an eternal Love in Paradise.

Battling....

So it is now a little over a month until I make the "BIG MOVE" (transfer). I feel like the clock is racing and I can do nothing to stop it. My dreams intensify about it and my heart battles with God. This is a huge and quite frightening step for me even though I know God is always in control. I am excited to see what God is going to do with the womens ministry, but I have no clue where I stand on other terms with other situations.

I have thought of every way possible to avoid situations that I really do not want to face. But the gentle voice of God keeps stirring in my heart.. Do not run... Overcome. I do believe this is the most difficult thing I have had to take to action. It is hard. I am struggling and God knows my heart. I long to do His will but to face the reality of the " what ifs" is more than overwhelming.
I really have been working on the whole " over analytical" side of me, but sometimes it creeps up unexpectedly then goes in for its attack.

I know that things will work out for the best. For all things work for good if we love and obey the Father. I am keeping my eyes set on Him. On the mountains of adventure that lay ahead of me and at the same time attempt to enjoy my summer.

God is good. His grace is more than sufficient. He is control. He is love. He is merciful. And He is with me always.

Thank you, Lord.

Blessings and Peace.

-Ava

O World, How Parasitic You Are!

I love in depth conversations with great young women and men of God. They are the people who inspire me, who encourage me, and who a lot of times put me back on the right track. But what amazes me the most is how God takes a conversation and sparks new thought.

What I have discovered is how enslaved humans are to this world. Not only those of the world but the Christians that also reside here as well. We humans LOVE pleasure. Is it merely nature? Yes. Can we overcome this sin? Yes. Do we realize how deep we are into the pleasures of this world? If you look at the church today that would be a no. Even I can say I am guilty. I am guilty of giving in to the Starbucks everyday, that cute shirt or pair of shoes every weekend I visit the mall, the over endulgence on the lusts that corrupt my heart. And I didn't even realize it until recently. Now, I know I am not the only one but I am publicly stating it. There is a problem.

The first step to recovery is to admit our weakness.
The second is to do something about it.
The third is to overcome it.
This can all be done with the help of Christ, but we must first realize the state and condition our heart is in.

What is your earthly pleasure or even your weakness?

Ladies, Is it that guy who keeps popping back into your life even though you know he is wrong for you? He wears you down so you give in then he starts feeding off of you like a parasite. Eating the life out of you, tearing you down, destroying what God has so preciously made. Same thing with guys concerning girls. A wise friend told me, do not return to old sin. It is like a dog returning to its vomit and eating it. How many times do we do that? That gross sin that captures us when we least expect it and for some of us.. we knowingly run back in that vomit and willingly devour it.

Same thing with the world... We know we don't need that cute shirt.. but we indulge anyway. We know we don't need that Starbucks everyday when really we can't afford it everyday but we do it anyways... We have to be the most glamorous on stage at church or the best dressed for everyone to dote on us. Is that really who we want to be?

I think not.

Christ tells us to die to our flesh daily. The only way to die to that flesh is to starve it. We must not give in the worlds standards, but to dive into the standards of which we are called by God to live .

How do we do that? Limit ourselves to what the world is constantly ranting and raving we need. The latest fashion tips. "Affordable ways to be glamorous." The world is constantly pulling us in and we give in. Unfortuneately that leads to slavery. Slaves of this world, but we are called to be slaves to the cause of Christ. Slavery for the cause of Christ reaps eternal awards. Slavery to the world leads to temporal satisfaction and a yucky death.

I want to live as Christ live. Simplistic yet a huge transforming statement. His life. His obedience to the Father. And ultimately, His love.

I am attending shop-aloic classes. What step do you need to take to die to your flesh?

Titus 2:11-14 (NIV)

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "NO" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope- the glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. "


Let this be of a word of hope and encouragment.

Blessings and peace be upon you.

-Ava

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart"....

All of us who are Christians have heard the Bible verse "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding." But I want to bring focus to the first part of this Scripture.

What does it mean to trust?
Wesbter defines it elegantly with this statement: "assured reliance on character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."

I have a dilema I guess you could say. Tonight I went to a young adults Bible Study where the speaker I guess you could say was a bit amateur. Though I respect his efforts, his theology and accuracy of Scripture was a bit off. He suggested that if we merely trust in the Lord everything will be hunky dorey.. just trust and go on will life, and you will survive. Now do not be mistaken, there are parts of truths to those statements, BUT there is a bit more depth and insight to what trusting in the Lord truly means.


I will use a human to human relationship as an example. Now... let's say we truly trust in someone. We have a close , close relationship with that person. That means we confide in that person, that we communicate with that person on a daily basis, and there is an in depth confidence and commitment to that person. Now, I am not neccesarily meaning intimate guy and girl stuff... This could be family, friendships, etc.

Now for the thought of the day: Do we have that kind of trust in the Lord? Doesn't that trust mean we have a huge amount of prayer time in our lives? At least it should be a huge amount? To confide and rely on means to communicate with that person. Isn't that what Jesus did? He trusted in the Father completely because there was constant communication. Could our trust in the Lord as Christians be a bit flawed. Without a huge prayer life, I would say yes. There is power in prayer. Prayer renews, uplifts, prepares, and allows us to grow closer to the Father. We are communicating with Him intimately everytime we pray. Our perspective is changed by prayer. Strength is given through prayer. Prayer allows us to trust in the Father even more when we begin to see those prayers being answered. Prayer is a life fulfilled in Christ.

When is the last time we got in our prayer closets? When is the last time we got on our faces and cried out before God as Christ did in the Garden of Gethsemane? There is power in prayer. It becomes so extremely easy to be consumed with the routine and busyness of life. That is what the Enemy wants... He want us to think that oh... I will be okay... I can say my night time prayers before bed.

But it isn't okay, we need to realize what the reality of the fulfilling life in Christ, and act upon it.
Pray without ceasing and gain strength, new perspective, healing, renewal, but ultimately, receive the life fulfilled in Christ through a fervant life of prayer. When we come to that point, that is when we will be able to fully TRUST in the Father without fear and without doubt.


Blessings

-Ava

The Ultimate Collision.....

"I like it in the city where two worlds collide. You get the people and the government.. everybody taking different sides"
-Adele

So I am not your typical "southern girl." I do not love sweet tea, do not enjoy country music as much as others, and DO NOT, let me repeat, DO NOT and probably never will celebrate Mule Days.
My sister on the other hand absolutely adores this lifestyle. She jams down the road to the latest Dierks Bently song, enjoys her extra large sweet tea, attends Mule Days proudly, and dates the typical farm boy.
I suppose now I will get to my point. Today was the day that two worlds collided with one another. My sister went with me to church, we enjoyed our breakfast at Starbucks, and sang along to the Lakewood Church Cd. We cried together and laughed together, just really had a good time.
Here comes the "in return" part of the deal. I did something that this" big-city girl at heart" has never done before. I went fourwheeling at a farm. And not only did I fourwheel but I did this "southern thang" in the mud. CRAZY.

Yes, this shocking event did occur. And here comes the confession from the ultimate city girl, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. (with the exception of getting really muddy) The beautiful scenery, the fresh hair, screaming my head off at the thought of falling off this so-called 4-wheeler, but most of all the marvelous collision with my beloved sister. I am thankful to the Almighty of how He has transformed a broken relationship to a insepearable bond. It is truly something amazing. Even more so than the fresh smell of coffee, the feel of new clothes, or spending the day by the pool. God is truly awesome and I can say I look forward to the soon coming trips to the farm with my best friend, my sister.

Blessings

-Ava

One can never expect the unexpected....

So I started off my day with being late to work, a crappy cup of coffee, and a load of files to scan.

Though it started off to a rough start, it progressed as the day went on. I had a lovely lunch with my father at Arthur's, an awesome diet pepsi, and amusing co-workers who made my day brighter.

Well after that, I spoke with a friend who mentioned the tent revival on 421... I was like hmmm.. maybe I will join you. So after contemplating til the last minute (literally) I decided to go.
We walked in and this horrible feeling of uneasiness overcame me. (it only got worse) This "preacher" was bashing churches, taking Scripture out of context, and claiming to be a "prophet." Needless to say... we left before I threw a Bible with the correct contents in his face.

As the evening went on, I decided to take a long drive and find some food. I drove all around Dunn, Erwin, and Benson and just contemplated on life and such.... I went and saw Ty at McDonald's then made my way home...
When I finally decided to stay at home, I did what I always do.... check the myspace and facebook.
As I was texting some friends, I heard a knock on the door. I was like" OH, Tyrik must be coming to see me since we planned to go bowling." So I walked to the door, simutaneously opened the door and turned the light on and.... It def. was not Tyrik. It was this black man with all black on, stuttering, asking me things, trying to get into my house. I FREAAKKED.... (on the inside)

I quickly closed and locked the door, and franticly cried out for Dad to see what was going on. He quickly got some clothes on, got the gun, went out there, and started talking to this man.
I called the police... but hung up because I thought the Dadd had it under control. The police called me back and asked me what was going on... I explained...and they told me that the man I described matched the description of another call in for an armed robbery. I FREEAKKKEDD! (and cried)

I broke down... All of the "what if's" were running through my brain... Plus I had just watched the top 10 mysterious murders on WE.. (Did not make me feel better).
I called the cops and and they told me they had finally caught the man.... He ended up being a crack head who went door to door bumming money off people. Bad part... the man who committed the armed robbery is still out there.

What I learned from all of this.....
1) ALWAYS lock your doors.
2.) ALWAYS turn the light on and see who it is BEFORE you open the door.
3.) Keep MASE attached to the hip
4.)Don't freak out and call the police. STAY CALM (I surprisingly did a good job of this)
5.)Most importantly, pray to Jesus and pray in the Spirit to cast that evil -being away.


One can never expect the unexpected.....

New Perspective.

So as I was pondering on love and the fact that I have been waiting on love for almost a year now, a new perspective came to mind. Isn't it odd how one becomes so desperate for another, how the majority of humanity can not be content alone? It indeed would be classified as something odd, or just really human. :)

Then I thought of how God has someone specifically made for each individual ( one that has not been called to cellabassy)and if we would just be patient that individual would come our way in God's perfect timing.
I had the perfect image come to mind, we are waiting and as we wait that perfect person is waiting and wondering wow God has someone special for me and on the "GOD PERFECT DAY" that young man comes up to the young woman and says... " You are the one I have been waiting for..."(because it should be the guy(who is a young MAN) in persuit of his future wifey) Now tell me... is that not something worth waiting for???? I would say that it is.....
Now you may be thinking as you read this... that is so absurd... I beg to differ... If it is God's way than I do whole-heartedly believe that it can be that perfect. There may be some bumps along the way... but all things for good for those who love and obey

the Father's will. That is Scripture therefore that is promise and all of God's promises are PERFECT because He alone is perfect. So with that I do believe things can be aligned perfectly according to His will.
:)

Anywhoo,
time to work out.

Thank for the Lord for His perfect promises and for the grace He gives when flesh alone gets in the way with what He wants do in our lives

How deep are your roots?

Tonight has yet again been one of those sleepless nights. Too much caffine I suppose.


I always seek after God to bring revelation through His word. Tonight I came across Psalms 1.
This short 6 stanza verse speaks of the man who delights in the law of the Lord. For the one who delights in the law and word of the Lord is like a tree beside a river. This tree is ready in season and out of season, he does not whither or brush away with the wind.

As I read this, this question arose in the depths of my heart, "How deep are your roots?" How firmly am I rooted in my relationship with Christ? Do I whither away in hardship... am I easily blown away in the winds of hardship and tribulation? As this question sunk into the depths of my heart, I asked the Father to reveal to me what I personally needed to make me rooted in my walk with Him. Ofcourse when we ask such a thing, we do receive.



As I continued to pray and seek for answers in God's word, I opened my Bible to Matthew 15:13: "Every plant that my Father has not planted will be rooted up.." In this passage Jesus was referring to the Pharisees and their hypocrisy of traditionalism. Are we as Christians rooted in our relationship with Christ or are we much like the Pharisees sticking with the traditionalism of the church. Do rules and works plague our lives or does the love of the Father in our daily relationship with Him flourish our lives?



I have found that those who are truly God's children can be rest assured that if we have a daily relationship with him we will never blow away with the wind. Those roots are grasping deeper and deeper into the soil as we draw closer to Him. So simple yet so profound is that truth.

I often find myself in constant worry of being on the right path with God. Though I seek after Him daily and His peace reaffirms everything spoken, I find my flesh battling. These verses though in depth and insight are verses that bring clarification to the heart, soul, and spirit.

Thank the Lord for His living word and the promises that flow.

Prayer.

Dear Heavenly Father,

How blessed I am to know that I am your child. How amazing it is to know that your unconditional love and mercy abounds so heavily in my life. Lord, I ask you to give me courage and strength to make it through the difficult times. I ask that my roots will deepen in my walk with You and not ascend into the storms that lurk in a world full of uncertainity. I pray for those who need strength and comfort from you Lord. Send your Holy Spirit to bring forth peace into their lives. Lord, I love and adore you. Thank you for everything you are and what you do in each and everyone of you children's lives.
In your precious Son's Holy Name,
Amen.

Far off in the distance I see....

Puffy, Fluffy, Yummy looking clouds and beautiful sunsets that turn a gloomy day upside down! :]

I love how God paints a beautiful masterpiece and gives it to us as a gift to admire each and every day.

If only we would take the time to admire such a masterpiece.

Don't run but overcome....

Most of my life I have ran away from the hardships and difficulties that I was often faced with. I have never been much of a confrontational person and most times I would allow those people who hurt me to walk all over me.

I have recently realized that no individual can run away from a problem(s) forever. One must face that difficulty, deal with it, overcome it, and let go.


It seems like the Holy Spirit has been loudly speaking this into my heart, but often I would just revert back to the flesh and continue running away and just not dealing with the problem.
Now that I have come to this realization I have found a freedom and in confronting others and fixing the problem. I've let go of the past and I am able to rest in the peace which God has already promised.

If we would only put into action what the Holy Spirit lays heavily on our hearts... this world would definitely would be turned upside down. But most importantly the flesh we so eagerly desire to starve would finally be put to death.

Totally Awesome!

God is so awesome.

I love it when I am completely on the edge of the cliff and He comes to the rescue when I want to let go.

I know I can trust in His provision when I abide in His abundant love and obey what He has called me to do.

Complete Awesomeness.



And I am very glad I got to speak with my Israel buddy SJ! ♥

Another Restless Night...

Do you ever have one of those nights where EVERYTHING clouds your brain?

Well, it has been one of those nights for me and when I say EVERYTHING.. I mean EVERTHING has been bombarding my brain. Decisions, plans, whether to, whether not to, go, don't go, do, don't do, dreams, doubts, anticipation, wonder, etc, etc.... And yet I still have peace, as weird as it sounds... there is peace in the midst of uncertainty..

I honestly don't know what I would do without God right now. I am sure I would have completely lost what little sanity remains.

Thank the Lord for His abounding peace and love. ♥

Seasons and Reasons...

So I adore autumn...

It is certainly my most preferred season of all. The leaves are colored, the weather is exceptional, and as I have always said... fall is the time to FALL in love! =]

As the seasons change... so does our relationship with the Lord. If I would have to describe the season of my life as of now it would be summer... but not in a good way.. Summer is dry, hot, and I am always thirsty... It seems nothing can quench my thirt during summer time. I am always searching for something icy and soothing to hydrate my boddaayyy.

I feel the same way with God right now.... To come down from a moutain top experience to a time of nothing is quite difficult.. I am seeking but it seems as if I can't find Him. I pray and I hear nothing. I thirst for Him daily and yet this thirst still lingers. Everything has turned around... What I once thought I knew.. I no longer know. I attempt to trust in the Lord no matter what but seriously... I have not heard a word in months now. This dry, hot, summer season I hope soon will pass. I am holding on, but barely.

Autumn, please come soon.

Leaving it all behind.

Are we so in love with Christ that we are willing to let go all of which we are familiar with? So in love with Christ that we are willing to take up our cross and go.. no matter where it leads us? Does He consume our hearts in this manner?

He definitely should.....


After months of internal torment, I have realized it is time to leave all of the past behind, and focus on the present and the near future. It is time to take up my cross fully, and walk in the truths God has revealed.


How simple life becomes when we walk in those truths God has personally revealed. Worry fades and peace overfloweth in the hearts that chaseth after the Father. God is so miraculous. I am astonished that this One can love us so much, that He never leaves nor forsakes us. He remains faithful in the midst of our unfaithfulness. I am so undeserving of this Love, this Love that no mind can comprehend. This Love that brings me to my knees, He never leaves... He never leaves. In the wilderness, He is still there. Our King resides right "smack-dab" in the middle of hearts. We are not alone.

Chase after heart of the Father, take up the cross, get going.... Go.

The Beauty of Sin!?

Sin=separation from God.

What is the inclination of such a thing? Why do people so easily fall into sin?

The answer is more in depth than the church has taught. Churches like to teach sin as this defilement amongst all people that shouldn't be touched... which is lined with truth but there is much more to it.

The fact of the matter is... Sin is glamorous, appealing, pleasurable, and it is something people want to take part in. Humans are proned to such a thing... it is inevitable. Satan can appear as an angel of light but within is complete darkness. Sin should be recognized for what is. For it is truth that brings clarity and change.

It is crucial that the truth of sin be revealed to all so that a reversal can occur. So that the hearts of millions can be turned to the heart of the Saviour.

Fact: Mosts sins are fun, enjoyable yet they are only temporal.

Fact: What is disguised as fun fun fun, is ultimately a trapt that leads to bondage.

Fact: Bondage leads to death and death leads to the Lake of Fire.

Action needs to be taken and changes need to be made.

What can we do....

Bring light to the truths of sin, and cry out to God for hearts to be transformed.

"Let the dreams, not the memories consume you"

I serve an Almighty God. He cleanses me from my impurities and His loving-kindness is never-ending. His certainty consumes my uncertainty. I can not contain this Love that resides within.

Hebrews 11 is filled with men and women of mighty faith. They lived by the dreams God gave them, they had confidence in it, and they walked in it. My heart longs to walk in the dreams that God has given me. The certainties of where He is leading me. This peace He has given me is unexplainable, it is the just walking in it that is the constant struggle.

Leaders live by vision, for it is they who are the revolutionaries leaving a legacy rather than mere forgettable memories.


I want to leave a legacy for the glory of the Lord. This world needs the Lord, we must live in expectancy and walk in the dreams and visions the Lord gives.

O How He Loves Us.

He is jealous for me. For all of me, not just part of me. I must leave all that I am at the alter and never pick it up again. When I do this, I am allowing the Holy Spirit to work 100% without me being in the way. I am tired of being in the way. When it's me... I mess things up... When it's God all tranquility and order comes into play.
O How He Loves Us..... That no matter how much we screw up.. He still remains there with open arms... Saying"Come child, I forgive you."
Sometimes I tend to forget how loving Abba is. He is so merciful, and He remains the same no matter what.... even when I screw up, even when uncertainty clouds my brain, His will and divine purpose for me still remains.

Hello I'm kind of blind-folded until I die.

So today has been a superb day.
I was quite productive, actually. I did some assignments for Humanities, studied my notes for Bible Club, ran some errands, visited some loved ones, etc.

The focused topic elaborated on at Bible Club was "Walking Blindfolded." I will be transparent for a moment and admit I become uber nervous before I speak. Tonight was the climax of that overwhelming emotion that clouds my being. So before I spoke, I prayed. And thanks be to Abba, that everything went smoothly. There was definitely a response from 95% of the crowd that attended.

God definitely was in the midst of it all and I am so humbled by the given opportunity to pour into teens lives in addition to what Christ has poured into me. Amazing stuff!

So afterwards, half of the crowd came up and stated an interest in Not Of It! I am humbled to express that 12 people have responded to the cause and need of human trafficking. Awesome, huh?! I am looking forward to see the impact this organization is going to have! Anything that deals represenst the glory of God receives the favor of God!!! He is so flippin' awesome.

After fellowshipping and grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend,I journeyed home. Praising God for the miraculous things He did. Did I mention how in love I am with my Saviour?! I love Him so!!! Goodness!! Anywhoo, so I journeyed home and as I walked inside to check facebook ( what's new?) I heard a meow... I really thought I was hearing thing, but to my surprise it was Boo Boo crying at the front door!!! I rescued him and brought him safely back inside. I am so thankful that he has returned home and I thank my closest loved ones for praying for him no matter how minor that request may seem!

God is so good and I am thankful for His favor upon my life this very day!!!

Until tomorrow,
Ava

"Money ain't nothin but a thang"

I simply adore my friends. They reaffirm, encourage, stand close, but most of all lift me up when I am at my lowest point.

As a close friend and I were discussing the non-profit organization I am trying to establish, we were exchanging different ideas concerning funds. I love the phrase, " Just Do It." In lines that correlate with the Word of God, of course. =]

Well, as we were discussing he made the most sardonic yet truthful statement, "Money ain't nothing but a thang." When looking through God's eyes, money really isn't nuttin but a thang. I am convinced that if anything is for His glory and His glory alone, He shall have favor upon the divine destiny of that plan or idea. He is kind of God, and went it is God, His blessing and favors are endless.

It is up to us to do our part and have faith, completely trusting in Him. When we do this, I am quite certain that He will provide for our every need. He kinda states this promise in the Bible.


Matthew 6:25-34

I love my Saviour, He is Almighty and His abounding grace is never ending! Praise be to Abba, Daddy! ♥

"You are on the short roads now, love"

A friend and I had lunch the other day... and as we were discussing recent life's diffculties, my friend so dearly says to me " You are on the short roads now, love." That statement hit right in between the forehead.

When we abide in Christ, and He abides in us, we must trust that our lives are in the palms of His hands. And though the difficulties seem ever so present and chaos is never ending, the storm will soon pass. When Christ asks something of us, do it. No doubt, no confusion. Know what He has spoken and obey it no matter how diffcult circumstances may seem to be.

As I pondered that so simplistic but so moving statement, I realized.. I am on the short road. It is only months before what God has called me to do will come to pass and I must not worry about what isn't when it is yet to be that time. I know who and what He has in His hands. Patience is a virtue and I am learning it quite well these days. Though I wander through this desert there will soon be over flowing springs awaiting.

When we are in Christ.. we are on the short roads... I do not not want to imagine to the long, difficult road without Him. Trust, Obey, Have Faith, and Just Do It! =]

Until tomorrow,
Ava

Death Arises as Binding Sin Suffocates

Suffocating.

I had a dream last night. A dream that has reoccurred three times now. As i was "dreaming" this binding spirit came upon me. I could not breathe, I could not speak, nothing. It was a blatant battle, one that no individual would ever desire to dream about. Once I finally gained strength, I cried out Jesus, Jesus. Now, what is significant about this dream you may ask. I will explain.

Many times as Christians we tend to overlook the binding death of willful sin. There can not be an affective light when there remains darkness inside.(Luke 11:34-36) The willful sin of Christians is often hidden by masks and facades. The darkness of this hidden sin lurks and as it worsens it binds the sinner. What was once willful becomes habitual. And the habitual eventually leads to uncontrollable action. The sin is leisurely smothering, and the result is death. What does it take to realize the horrid death of sin? How many times do we run to the alter crying out Abba, set me free, and yet we take back the very thing we wanted to rid ourselves of? Do we want the chains of sin to bind and linger into the depths of souls? Absolutely not.

Abiding in Christ is obtaining light. Light and darkness do not coincide. There is a choice to be made. Do I love my sin more than my Heavenly Father? That is the question that must be pondered. Now we must overcome. Overcome all the obstacles of sin and now allow it to bring us to the lack of oxygen. A point to where we are in so deep we can not breathe. No it will not be allowed for we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.


Now I will leave with a beautiful quote by the infamous Oswald Chambers:
"We don't overcome life , We achieve life as we overcome."

Reality.

The last kiss I received from Boo Boo. March 17, 2oo9

As reality sets in, I have come to realize how unexpected life is. Spontaneity occurs every second, ever minute, and every hour of the day. It is impossible to plan or have certainity in this life, so I have concluded it is time to add to the spontaneity of it all.
I love life. I enjoy it. I relish in it and yet sometimes I feel as though it doesn't exactly concur with me.

As I was sweetly slumbering this morning, dreaming , dreaming.. I was awakened by my father. He informed me that Boo Boo had run away. I adore Boo Boo. He and I have great memories together. Every light or difficult time he was by my side... whether it be times of heartache, laughter, pain, sorrow, or joy. He was there, especially during times of heartache. As I would soak the pillow with tears, Boo Boo would sweetly crawl up on my stomach, wrap his gentle paws around my neck, and kiss my cheek. He deeply cared for me. (Now, people may say animals... they don't have emotions, they aren't able to feel or what not.... I beg to differ. ) I can only hope and pray for Boo Boo's return. God knows I love that cat and he means the world to me.
For now, I must stay focused on what is most important in life... and try not to let the loss of Boo Boo consume my mind. If any know me well enough, it is known that I am over analytical. It is both a blessing and curse I do believe. But anywhoo, keep Boo Boo in your prayers.

Until tomorrow,

Ava

Make your baby jump

Hello.
The baby has jumped. Now the infamous thoughts of Ava begin.
Until tomorrow.