In exactly 4 months from now i will receive a college degree.
If I am honest, I will admit to you that I am afraid and uncertain of the future.
Though the right answers linger through my head as to bring comfort, they still refuse to lighten the load that I bear.
I know in my head that Jesus will guide me and make way for me..
I know in my head that he has good things for me as is written through His word.
I just cannot get past the yucky feeling of how big the world is and how small I am and how Jesus could use someone like me to make a difference in this world. it. is. SCARY....
But I trust Him.
I also trust that He will bring special people to bring value to the journey He has set before me. I hope these individuals will be lively, charismatic, cheerful, and a breath of fresh air that refuse to bring judgement or preconceived notions. I need a change and I know God is bringing it. I am just afraid of what it is gonna be.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
rise above.
Lately, this reoccurring theme has not only been resonating in the depths of my heart, but through scripture, through song, through conversations.
For awhile now, I have been longing for a breakthrough.
I have been longing for the dark cloud that has so heavily hovered over me,
to leave by the piercing rays of sunlight.
Well, dear readers...
That day has finally come.
I can see the Son bursting through the broken glass,
healing the deepest wounds,
and restoring in me what I thought was once lost.
For those who doubted, judged, and chose to cast stones instead of love, this is especially for you.
I pray that you will rise above and that you will realize that we serve the same Redeemer, the same Jesus who died for all of our sins and shortcomings... not. just. some.
Yahweh is the One and only One relentlessly pursues to capture our wayward hearts and bring restoration continually to those who
have been broken or even gone astray.
To those who have continually stood by my side, through the tears, the bleeding heart, through the continual prayer sessions.
I can not thank you enough. I love you all so much.
But most importantly, I thank my Savior for continually wrapping me in His arms and continuing to love me despite of the past.
His mercies are new every morning! :) He gently moves us onward. Hallelujah.
This is my theme song for the season.
And believe me.. it is much more beautiful up here. :)
For awhile now, I have been longing for a breakthrough.
I have been longing for the dark cloud that has so heavily hovered over me,
to leave by the piercing rays of sunlight.
Well, dear readers...
That day has finally come.
I can see the Son bursting through the broken glass,
healing the deepest wounds,
and restoring in me what I thought was once lost.
For those who doubted, judged, and chose to cast stones instead of love, this is especially for you.
I pray that you will rise above and that you will realize that we serve the same Redeemer, the same Jesus who died for all of our sins and shortcomings... not. just. some.
Yahweh is the One and only One relentlessly pursues to capture our wayward hearts and bring restoration continually to those who
have been broken or even gone astray.
To those who have continually stood by my side, through the tears, the bleeding heart, through the continual prayer sessions.
I can not thank you enough. I love you all so much.
But most importantly, I thank my Savior for continually wrapping me in His arms and continuing to love me despite of the past.
His mercies are new every morning! :) He gently moves us onward. Hallelujah.
This is my theme song for the season.
And believe me.. it is much more beautiful up here. :)
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
innermost...
Many of us have heard it said, many of us have thought it to be truth, but I come with challenge and one that may bring forth much prayer and meditation.
So, yeah... here it goes.
"Your circumstances can either make you or break you".
What if, as followers of Jesus, the Sovereignty of the Almighty allowed circumstances to break us only so that the Father Himself could make and mold us more into His likeness.
So many of us question why bad things happen, and even shy away from the fact that God himself could, in His Sovereignty, be orchestrating such events to build and strengthen our relationship in Him. Perhaps there is deeper and much more profound reasoning for why we go through such pain and hardship in life.
The Scriptures tell us not to be surprised when such pains and trials come, for it is part of taking up the cross daily and identifying in the death of Jesus Christ.
Within our transformation will come much pain and sorrow, in which will ultimately lead us to crucify the flesh by yielding to the Holy Spirit, or we will become hardened and bitter towards the crushing hand known as Sovereignty.
The most encouraging thing to me is this:
Once we allow Sovereignty to crush us as He did with Jesus, something supernatural in us occurs. We become resurrected and transformed in Christ Jesus. Our flesh becomes merely skin that we long to be out of, then the deepest longing and desire becomes a spirit that needs to be right next to Papa.
I urge you my dear brothers and sisters to not be hardened to the pains and trials that will come your way.
The Father may even use those closest to you to bring the most heart-wrenching experiences that will ultimately bring forth your true character. Pray for them. Love them. Do your part. Jesus did.
In this life, many that claim Jesus as Lord will be the ones who pierce and wound the deepest part of your being, but do not be hardened by them. The Lord is faithful and just. Know your Father and know Him intimately. He will teach you and make you into the man and woman you are called to be.
Go the second mile. Turn the other cheek. Continue to love through the many pains and hardships that the narrow road brings.
May blessings and joy be upon you always,
Ava
So, yeah... here it goes.
"Your circumstances can either make you or break you".
What if, as followers of Jesus, the Sovereignty of the Almighty allowed circumstances to break us only so that the Father Himself could make and mold us more into His likeness.
So many of us question why bad things happen, and even shy away from the fact that God himself could, in His Sovereignty, be orchestrating such events to build and strengthen our relationship in Him. Perhaps there is deeper and much more profound reasoning for why we go through such pain and hardship in life.
The Scriptures tell us not to be surprised when such pains and trials come, for it is part of taking up the cross daily and identifying in the death of Jesus Christ.
Within our transformation will come much pain and sorrow, in which will ultimately lead us to crucify the flesh by yielding to the Holy Spirit, or we will become hardened and bitter towards the crushing hand known as Sovereignty.
The most encouraging thing to me is this:
Once we allow Sovereignty to crush us as He did with Jesus, something supernatural in us occurs. We become resurrected and transformed in Christ Jesus. Our flesh becomes merely skin that we long to be out of, then the deepest longing and desire becomes a spirit that needs to be right next to Papa.
I urge you my dear brothers and sisters to not be hardened to the pains and trials that will come your way.
The Father may even use those closest to you to bring the most heart-wrenching experiences that will ultimately bring forth your true character. Pray for them. Love them. Do your part. Jesus did.
In this life, many that claim Jesus as Lord will be the ones who pierce and wound the deepest part of your being, but do not be hardened by them. The Lord is faithful and just. Know your Father and know Him intimately. He will teach you and make you into the man and woman you are called to be.
Go the second mile. Turn the other cheek. Continue to love through the many pains and hardships that the narrow road brings.
May blessings and joy be upon you always,
Ava
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
bleeding hearts both torn and worn.
There is no way to resurrect a relationship that never truly began.
Though the deepest part of me knows there will be no rekindled flame, my heart still strays to the scenes of restless and secretive nights that will never shed a peak of light.
To be honest, I am not sure what I miss more; the nights in and of themselves, or the being who I dared to share the most unspeakable moments with.
If I could turn back time, I most certainly would. But I suppose I will continue to be haunted in dreamland by the most handsome creature, in my opinion, that God has ever designed; or at least until my heart has mended and decides to take another venture.
I no longer dream of fairytales such as Cinderella, but of those who have broken me and those I in turn have broken.
I only pray that God continues to use such a broken vessel.
I am so weak, and yet He chooses to use the weak ones who are aware of such infirmities.
Though the deepest part of me knows there will be no rekindled flame, my heart still strays to the scenes of restless and secretive nights that will never shed a peak of light.
To be honest, I am not sure what I miss more; the nights in and of themselves, or the being who I dared to share the most unspeakable moments with.
If I could turn back time, I most certainly would. But I suppose I will continue to be haunted in dreamland by the most handsome creature, in my opinion, that God has ever designed; or at least until my heart has mended and decides to take another venture.
I no longer dream of fairytales such as Cinderella, but of those who have broken me and those I in turn have broken.
I only pray that God continues to use such a broken vessel.
I am so weak, and yet He chooses to use the weak ones who are aware of such infirmities.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
One thing is for certain...
"One thing is for certain-He [Jesus] will never throw our past failures back in our faces." ~ Oswald Chambers
I am so thankful that my Savior Jesus does not ever bring up the past, for He knows that we as Christians deal enough with our own guilt and shame of the choices we have made in those times.
The Lord Jesus throws our sin into the sea of forgetfulness and holds the power to make Himself forget them.
Praise be to the Lord Jesus who covers our sins! What is heart wrenching, however, is that so many 'followers of Jesus' are so quick to condemn and bring judgement to their own.
It saddens me, how unlike Jesus the church has become. Instead, the church parades like a Pharisee wearing a mask of holier than thou when truly we have all been covered by the same blood for all sin, not just particular ones.
We as Jesus followers are to be like Him. We are to become little Christ's that shine a light and bring love to the world, but so many of us get caught up on how dirty a person is or how much he or she has messed up.
We all have fallen short of the glory of God... who are we to condemn our brother or sister?
Our jobs as Christians, is to bring love and forgiveness. We are to exhort and encourage one another. We are to carry each others burdens and hardships no matter how heavy or gross they may seem.
My prayer is that we would be so surrendered to Jesus that we walk in all of His footsteps.
My prayer is that we would not throw stones, but reach out with open arms to those who struggling today.
If we stone our brother or sister from the church, where else are they to go?
Choose love today. Look past the surface and realize that each individual on this earth longs for what you do. Choose to be surrendered fully to the One who has covered each and every flaw of yours with His precious blood.
I am so thankful that my Savior Jesus does not ever bring up the past, for He knows that we as Christians deal enough with our own guilt and shame of the choices we have made in those times.
The Lord Jesus throws our sin into the sea of forgetfulness and holds the power to make Himself forget them.
Praise be to the Lord Jesus who covers our sins! What is heart wrenching, however, is that so many 'followers of Jesus' are so quick to condemn and bring judgement to their own.
It saddens me, how unlike Jesus the church has become. Instead, the church parades like a Pharisee wearing a mask of holier than thou when truly we have all been covered by the same blood for all sin, not just particular ones.
We as Jesus followers are to be like Him. We are to become little Christ's that shine a light and bring love to the world, but so many of us get caught up on how dirty a person is or how much he or she has messed up.
We all have fallen short of the glory of God... who are we to condemn our brother or sister?
Our jobs as Christians, is to bring love and forgiveness. We are to exhort and encourage one another. We are to carry each others burdens and hardships no matter how heavy or gross they may seem.
My prayer is that we would be so surrendered to Jesus that we walk in all of His footsteps.
My prayer is that we would not throw stones, but reach out with open arms to those who struggling today.
If we stone our brother or sister from the church, where else are they to go?
Choose love today. Look past the surface and realize that each individual on this earth longs for what you do. Choose to be surrendered fully to the One who has covered each and every flaw of yours with His precious blood.
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