it's 4am..

For 3 nights now I have tossed and turned, pondering life and wondering how I reached the point in which there is no return.

I ponder the way in which I found my-self amongst people who enjoy bickering, chaos and who compose propostouros symphonies of abnormal and non-rhythmic snores.

And how dare one ask a question that is poised with any logic or reason.

It has most certainly been a very interesting three days.

Now, I sit in the lobby of surrounding horribly matched couches and a monsterous clock that reminds me time is passing, and I have yet to find the peace and rest that I so long for.

There are many things I don't understand in life, and some things I so desire to erase or undo as I delete a text message or a poorly composed thought.

As I replay the public incident that occurred on the four lane highway named Brookshire Freeway; there is one thing that continues to plague me and has foreshadowed much of my life thus far; and it is the shattered windshield that could have and should have fallen from its frame to cut me all to pieces.


Part of me wishes to play the blame game, but the deeper part of me refuses to and accepts that there is a greater picture at hand.

I continue to walk in faith, knowing there is an Almighty who holds my hand every step of the way, and who continues to protect me as I venture through the hardships and pains of life.


In a couple of hours from now, I will make way to visit with the Amish people of good ole' Ohio. I will enjoy various types of cheese, fuss with my mother, and hold back many words that most certainly will not display the love of Christ. I could wish these next two days away, but I am going to do my best to make the most of the time I have, and pray that the Lord will give me grace as I endure the resistance that stirs heavily within me.

Maybe there will be a handsome Amish man around the corner who will distract me from all these troubles. *wishful thinking*

Until tomorrow.
Blessings and Peace be with you.
-Ava