It's 2am...

It's 2am and I sit here awake with eyes burning from all the tears shed from a broken and bitter heart.

For far too long I have carried bitterness and hurt.
For far too long I have tried to fight a battle that is not mine to fight.
For far too long I have kept the Love that has been given freely to self; so afraid of how others would respond resulting in another traumatic heartbreak.


How dare I? Truly?

If I have learned anything in the past 7 years of my life, it is the recurring theme on pain and love.
They both go hand in hand and one cannot be without the other.
We hear songs such as 'love is a battlefield', 'bleeding love', 'break your heart'.. ecetera , ecetera.

Why does love cause so much pain and what is the root of it, I question often.

I think I have found an answer.

God is love. He sent Jesus as an expression of love.

But what did Jesus allow the Father to do?
Anything and everything to and through him.

He was surrendered..
He gave the Father the power to do whatever He pleased.


When we enter into any relationship, whether it be courtship or friendship, we are looking for depth with that individual.
We search to know everything about them, which ultimately puts us on the path to intimacy. Once we reach this intimacy, we also reach our most vulnerable state of being, which in turn gives power to the other individual. The power to crush us. The power to run off and make fools of us. The power to absolutely destroy us.


Love requires pain, but the question is will that person rise above? We trust so. Since human-beings are flawed, heartbreak and pain are inevitable. But what is reassuring is if we truly want to become like Jesus, we keep trusting, we keep loving, and we keep returning to the one who breaks our hearts, and yet heals our heart at the very same moment.

Never grow weary of being vulnerable.
Keep the walls down, and love with all the power the Lord has given you through His Holy Spirit.
It will always be worth it in the end.
Brokenness and humble hearts are pleasing to the Father.
These attributes keep us away from pride and fleshly tendencies, but ultimately that teach us a little of what Jesus felt.
I want to love like Jesus even if it requires pain and suffering.